are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
