I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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