So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
