His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
