SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
