JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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