im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
