my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
My liver is preforming stress tests.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize