He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
