I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
