I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
