I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
