I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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