Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
