Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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