im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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