i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
