dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
