Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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