Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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