I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
