We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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