Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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