So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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