i jhust puked up my retainher.
We got so high we made milksteak
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
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