she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
