you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
