just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
And then my night got REAL pukey
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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