I wish my penis had an off switch
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
