Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
