my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
