Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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