Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
