in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
North Korea, Best Korea!
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
