what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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