He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
