I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
