when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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