i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
