Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
