He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
