I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize