As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
