im drinking this country out of the recession.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Acid is not a monday night drug
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize