Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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