and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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