Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
