I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize