it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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