I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
bring money and cleavage
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
