you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I just found a bag of teeth...
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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