you turned your livingroom into a bong?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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