And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
