Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
two words...techno handjob
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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