The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize