You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Fuck appropriateness.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
