time to smoke my breakfast
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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