I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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