Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
