Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
MIDGETS
????
Randomize
