Why are handjobs necessary in class?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
