Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
