I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I can text with my tongue
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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